'group' projects my @$$

Hello. I am sitting here working on a 'group' paper for a 'group' project. Where is my group, you ask? Safely asleep in San Francisco somewhere, dreaming pleasant dreams of good grades while other people slave away doing their work. Is it any wonder that I'm full of hatred and bitterness these days?!

...Okay, I've always been filled with hatred and bitterness. But lately I feel like I have some justification.